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Taraji P. Henson is opening up about a "dark moment" she endured earlier this year, which led her to contemplate whether she still wanted to live.
When the coronavirus pandemic first surged around the world in early March, Henson was one of many who became puzzled by a life in lockdown, as Americans were forced to stay at home. The entertainment industry, no less, meant actors, casts and crews were out of work as studios were in limbo.
It was then the 50-year-old actress said she found herself struggling to get out of bed in the morning.
"For a couple of days, I couldn't get out of bed and that's not me," Henson revealed on her "Peace of Mind with Taraji" Facebook Watch series while speaking to co-host Tracie Jade and psychologist Dr. LaShonda Green (via People magazine).
The "Empire" star went on to say she began "having thoughts about ending it."
TARAJI P. HENSON SPLITS FROM FIANCÉ KELVIN HAYDEN: 'YOU HAVE TO SHOW UP'
She said she had purchased a gun at the time, and recalled thinking, "I could go in there right now, and just end it all."
Taraji P. Henson
The Golden Globe winner had thoughts about suicide for two nights before she decided to communicate her feelings to someone else. She said she felt herself "withdrawing."
"People were calling me, I wasn't responding. I just didn't care," Henson explained.
Fortunately, Henson said she spoke to a girlfriend despite feeling "ashamed" and fearing her friends would "think I'm crazy."
TARAJI P. HENSON LOUNGES IN PLUNGING BLACK SWIMSUIT
"So one day I just blurted it out, to my girlfriend. She called me in the morning and I was like, 'You know I thought about killing myself last night. Oh my God, I feel so much better. I'm not gonna do it now."
Revealing her detrimental thoughts out loud turned out to be exactly what Henson needed to combat the feelings and begin to heal, she said. Green told Henson that having these unwanted feelings at times is "absolutely normal."
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Taraji P. Henson announced in October that she had split from her fiance Kelvin Hayden.
Henson has one son, Marcell Johnson, who is 26. In October, the award-winning actress announced she had split from fiancé Kelvin Hayden.
"I’m dedicated to the black man, y’all. I just turned 50 and I mean, I hadn’t said it yet, but it didn’t work out," Henson explained on "The Breakfast Club" radio show. "I tried. I was, like, therapy. Let’s do the therapy thing, but if you’re both not on the same page with that then you feel like, you’re taking it on yourself, and that’s not a fair position for anybody to play in a relationship."
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The "Hidden Figures" star admitted, "My happiness is not his responsibility and his is not mine. We have to first learn how to make ourselves happy, to make each other happy. So, when one person is taking on the weight of the entire relationship, it's never going to work."
She previously dated Lamar Odom from 2008 to 2009.
If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).